Many churches make foot-washing a part of their Easter services in one way or another. I believe the Pope washes someone's feet once a year. Bury it in liturgy. Make it safe.What it calls us too is servant leadership. What it calls us to is a servant church. Most of us don't want that even when we say we do.
Making yourself everyone else's servant works -- at least in theory -- if everyone else makes themselves your servant too. It leads to reciprocal service. The church or Quaker meeting becomes a kind of mutual aid society. I have seen that in moments of grace. A person sits in the pew sobbing and a stranger's arm reaches out in comfort. An envelope arrives in the mail with a cheque.
But sustained unreciprocated servanthood runs into problems. It creates expectations of service and the inequality becomes embedded. Resentment on the part of the servant. Or helping becomes more about meeting your own ego needs. Refusing help when it is offered or giving help when the recipient doesn't want it.
How to capture the best spiritual insights of a servant church without all the baggage and covert abuse? As the poet said, Aye, there's the rub.
8 comments:
David said ...
But sustained unreciprocated servanthood runs into problems. It creates expectations of service and the inequality becomes embedded. Resentment on the part of the servant.
... maybe this does happen sometimes with institutions but I think you're taking a view more negative than it needs to be. Most people who are helped, need it and are grateful for it, I think. And probably most who give help see the "gifting" as it's own reward and don't expect reciprocity.
- spoken as a person who has recieved lots of gifts :-)
Most people who are helped, need it and are grateful for it
And I think most of the time folks would like to be asked what it is they need. Most folks on welfare resent the welfare ssytem -- all the bureaucracy gives out each penny so grudgingly while millions go to big corporations.
I'm thinking also of the otehr side though. Most folks I know who are so very good at helping others -- if you stopt them and asked what they want -- you get an uncomfortable silence -- or they change the subject.
Yes, I see what you mean, I think. My family always was on the edge of poverty. At one point we had food stamps. It's really an ordeal to get them. Once, when we were at the grocery store, my mom bought some imported cookies with them. The people in the line behind us were angry that we had spent our food stamps (their hard earned tax dollrs) on something so frivolous. I think those with food stamps are really only supposed to buy gruel :-).
Hi:
David wrote: "How to capture the best spiritual insights of a servant church without all the baggage and covert abuse? As the poet said, Aye, there's the rub."
Well in the first place you have to get rid of the concept of reciprocity-- not biblical for one thing. If you expect a return, it's not a gift, but an investment.
In the second place here's a frequent tape: I never expect a giftee to reciprocate, but I'm constantly getting gifts from someone else. That's the divine economy. Someone may provide what I need, but I will be able to give to someone else.
Re: a servant community I dunno. The C of S was pretty close, but every community (more than two) has some sort of neuroticism to deal with (and I sometimes wonder about her.
Traveling, which somewhat restricts my blogging. Glad to have a chance to butt in here.
I've been out of the loop recently traveling-- trying to keep up with a year old grandson-- he changes no fast.
Larry sez:
Well in the first place you have to get rid of the concept of reciprocity-- not biblical for one thing. If you expect a return, it's not a gift, but an investment.
Altruism. My experience is that you can start with altruism. But to maintain it you need some ROI (Return on Investment). Otherwise resentment creeps in.
Yes. We see a need. We respond. No expectation of return. Great.
But in a long standing relationship. How long can the pastor preach sermons without anyone hearing before the lack of response starts to corrupt the witness? How long does teh absued wife have to forgive the husband before she's allowed to leave?
Where does equality in vlaue and power stand in a christian marriage? In a christian church? In a Quaker meeting?
kwake: re the pastor: if he sees no response he may feel led to try another field; re the wife: she may love her husband enough to leave the relationship. My grandmother did that in fact. Grampa sobered up, and they lived many happy years after that. Forgiving does no entail encouraging or permitting abuse. Alanon is a good resource for a wife to gain some objectivity.
Thanks for the repartee.
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